So how do you identify people who “get it”? It's easy to tell these people apart. Their lives are successful, they understand how things work and have a strategy to create the results they want. Simple?
Yes and no. Knowledge is easy to come by – it comes from experience, which all of us have. But some of us have the un-resourceful habit of taking that experience and ignoring or seriously discounting it. We don’t listen – we’re so busy thinking that we’re right, or worrying about whether we’re right or not, or how cool we look, or a host of other things, that we don’t pay attention to where we’re going. Small wonder we run into walls all the time.
Right now I have a friend, Barrett, who’s in the county jail. Maybe for the 10th time. He was running a successful painting business after getting out of prison for a five year parole violation. The original charge, robbery, was back in the late ‘80’s and he’s been doing what inmates call “the installment plan” ever since. Barrett’s an addict with cross addictions – which means that in addition to drugs, his addictive personality has other addictions he uses to “compensate” when drugs aren’t available…the primary one is relationships.
Barrett gets addicted to being in love. Not addicted to love, or loving people – but addicted to being in love. There’s a difference and an important distinction. That means that no matter how dysfunctional or toxic his relationship(s) may be, he’s addicted to that feeling of “she’s the only one for me…” All that wouldn’t be so bad, except Barrett has come control issues, some anger, and tends to attract women with similar dynamics. Mix the two together and the potential for emotional messes is inevitable. We’ve had the talk – several times.
“It’s not a matter of “if” you end up back in Jail, Barrett, it’s a matter of “when..” No worries – Barrett keeps doing what Barrett does, and ends up in jail, again, and again. You can’t push your girlfriend around (especially when you’re 6’4” and have a history of violence), even if she starts it, or pushes first. Is that really news to anyone? Well, apparently it’s news to Barrett – each an every time it happens.
Barrett is a great example of a person who doesn’t get it. I know hundreds of these stories. Sometimes, they’re about me. The only thing I can say in my favor is that I’m aware of the dynamic in myself, and working on being more fully conscious about it.
So who doesn’t get it? Anyone who keeps getting the same thing they don’t want over and over. Whether it’s ending up in prison, or hooked up with lame boyfriends or girlfriends, or stuck in dead-end jobs or life situations. There’s nothing outside of you creating this stuff – you’re creating it – and you need to get it. Those who don't get it are stumbling along looking puzzled, and can be found complaining that they never seem to get a break, or everyone’s out to get them, or whatever…
I offer this material because I would love to see you start living, rather than just existing. I would love to see you start either creating what you want, or recognizing that what you have is what you created, and then move to refine your process of “creation” so it’s more satisfying to you.
Some “wisdom facts” that help with this understanding…
Fact 1. “There ain’t no Santa Clause, Elvis is way dead…” If your life is going to get better around here, it is because you make it better. “Pray to God but row for the shore…” Doesn’t matter if you are in prison, or running your own business, or whatever external circumstance you have – your life can still be satisfying. When you make your happiness contingent on the craziness of other people – you’re asking for trouble. Be a person who gets that…Unless you won the sperm lottery and came into the world as a ridiculously endowed trust-fund baby, you either need to learn the system or get used to being a “have not”. And, I don’t only mean this in terms of money – I hear “have not” stories every day from people with all kinds of situations – some of whom are actually quite well off. Amazing.
Fact 2. Before your life can go in the right direction, you have to pull your head out and some going in the wrong direction…Hello…..
Fact 3. You don’t have to stick your hand in your blender to know it’s not the best idea to put your hand in blenders. Other people get into drama – you don’t have to jump in with both feet. If you do jump in, be aware that you can drown too. It’s not rocket science. The rip-tide of overwhelm is real, and can quickly suck you right down.
Fact 4. Become conscious – make a plan and work the plan. Life is not a dress rehearsal.
How well do you know yourself? How well do you know your own mental operating system? Can you identify fairly quickly what you value? Can you identify at a core level of your programming, whether or not you think the Universe is a great place out to support your highest good, or a dark, scary place out to thwart you at every step? These contrasting belief models are very significant to how you will experience your life, and whether or not you will be effective at creating the results you want…
You must do what it takes to accumulate enough knowledge to "get it." You need to operate with the information and skills that are necessary to win. Be prepared, tune in, find out how the game is played and play by the rules (or at least be real clear on what the rules are, and don’t complain if you choose to violate them and all of a sudden figure out there are consequences.) That’s not really a lot to ask. Is it?
Got questions?
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