"Show me the way to freedom, dissolve my limits, that I may live the life you intended." [A Course in Miracles]
In the film, Meetings with Remarkable Men, young George Gurdjieff comes upon a Russian country village where some children are playing a cruel trick on one of their peers. Gurdjeiff finds a young boy trapped inside a chalk circle drawn by the other kids. Under the superstitious belief that anyone caught inside such a circle is trapped by the devil's power, the boy cannot escape, and he is terrified. With compassion, Gurdjeiff rubs out part of the circle and the boy flees.
Many of the beliefs that hold us hostage are no more real than the chalk circle. I've spent much of today dealing with the problems of my friend Barrett, who has found himself in jail (again), this time for domestic violence and a parole violation.
Barrett working with a relationship addiction (among others) where he is addicted to being in relationships, rather than to the relationships themselves, and this small distinction is causing him (and his family and friends) a whole ration of grief and annoyance.
I have spent quite a bit of time meditating on the causes of this, and have begun to realize the void Barrett feels that can only be filled by someone who "needs and cares" for him, even if that needfulness is completely screwed up and toxic. Being "needed" and important to someone else is critical because in his belief system, he's not much needed to himself. Isn't that always the way? We look to others to get what we can't give ourselves. It sounds so easy.
Like the little boy in the chalk circle, Barrett believes that he is limited in who will love him, and that he has to control whoever he suspects that might be - either by inappropriate gifts, or being a bully - or a strange combination of the two. As long as Barrett doesn't think much of himself (strange to say for someone I consider a total narcissist, but a narcissist with a lousy self-image)he's going to attract people who don't think much of him either, and the vicious circle of push-pull-push-pull will continue going.
When we examine our perceived limits, or someone else demonstrates that they are not valid, a portion of our chalk line is rubbed out and we are offered the opportunity to grow beyond our imprisoning perceptions to gain the freedom we deserve. I like to hold the possibility that one day (soon) Barrett will "get it" and all this dramatic nonsense will be a thing of the past.
What do you believe you cannot do? Are you willing to call to question your sense of limits? Would you rather be right or free?
Make a list of all the things you want to do, but believe you can not. Then, examine each of your reasons and consider whether they are real, or simply represent a belief you are holding. You maybe pleasantly surprised to find out you are not as constrained as you believe. When we look fearlessly and honestly at our limits, we may be struck by the sudden realization that we are MUCH more powerful than any of our fears.
The Etymological Dictionary defines an iconoclast is a “breaker or destroyer of images” from the Late Greek word eikonoklastes. Later, an iconoclast was viewed as “one who attacks orthodox beliefs or institutions.” Today, iconoclasts like perceive things differently than other people - or maybe we just like to be annoying. Either way. This difference in perception plays out in our ideas, worldview and metaphysics - and in how we manage our fears and shadow self. It works well for me.
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